Is your teen troubled? Or just a normal adolescent going through the growing pains of becoming an adult? There are some tell-tale signs of a truly troubled teenager. Parents should be on the look out for these signs and take a closer look should they recognize a number of them in their child. Parents who take an honest look at their child should trust their instincts; if you think your child is in trouble, take action now.

Signs of a troubled youth:

·         Your child becomes more secretive, and it seems like more than a desire for greater privacy

·         Your teen has regular, sudden outbursts of anger that are clearly unreasonable and out of proportion to whatever has caused the anger

·         Your teen regularly misses curfew, does not show up when expected, and lies about his or her whereabouts (is not where you expected them to be if you check up on them)

·         Your teenager has suddenly changed his or her peer group and hasn't made an effort to let you meet these new friends. The new group has led to a distinct change in appearance (clothing, jewelry) and change in attitude (more sullen, defiant, hostile).

·         Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse on regular occasions.

·         Your adolescent has extreme mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep a lot more than usual at times.

·         Your child's grades have suddenly dropped and the child has lost interest in the usual activities.

1. Reward children. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege or increased responsibility for a job well done. Emphasize the good things they do, not the bad.

2. Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously. Don't belittle them by saying, "You'll grow out of it" or "It's not as bad as you think."

3. Define limits and rules clearly, and enforce them. But do allow leeway for you children within these limits.

4. Be a good role model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself. Also let them see that you too can make mistakes and can learn from them.

5. Teach your children how to deal with time and money. Help them spend time wisely and budget their money carefully.

6. Have reasonably expectations for your children. Help them to set reachable goals so they can achieve success.

7. Help your children develop tolerance towards those with different values, backgrounds and norms. Point out other people's strengths.

8. Give your children responsibility. They will feel useful and valued.

9. Be available. Give support when children need it.

10. Show them that what they do is important to you. Talk with them about their activities and interests. Go to their games, parent's day at school, drama presentations, awards ceremonies.

11. Express your values, but go beyond "do this" or "I want you to do that." Describe the experiences that determined your values, the decisions you made to accept certain beliefs, the reasons behind your feelings.

12. Spend time together. Share favorite activities.

13. Discuss problems without placing blame or commenting on a child's character. If children know that there is a problem but don't feel attacked, they are more likely to look for a solution.

14. Use phrases that build self-esteem, such as, "Thank you for helping" or "That was an excellent idea!" Avoid phrases that hurt self-esteem, "Why are you so stupid?", "How many times have I told you?"

15. Show how much you care about them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and that you love them.